Karen "Dink" Urbanski

Something to Live By . . .

Want something to live by? We’re All Gonna Die! Let’s face it, ALL of us are heading to death. Now, that is unavoidable and can be scary.

Wasn’t that nice of me to remind you that are going to die? You know, just in case someone hasn’t shared this nasty truth with you yet. Your welcome! I’m not so concerned with death, as much as it is an unwelcome part of life. Rather, I am more concerned with life. How will you choose to live your life? Will it be one of ultimate doom, “I’m dying, so why bother?” rather than, “I’m going to do my best to take each and every day for what it’s worth and look forward to the next.”

I think that every human being has his or her place in history. Some are known more than others. Some acquire super-stardom. Others end up working at a dead-end job, going through the daily routine, just biding time. Most of us are somewhere in the middle. Then others just stop living. On the other hand, there are people of every race, gender, creed and economic strata that LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST!

I am convinced that life is what we make it. I will be the absolute first one to admit that life can be pretty freakin’ shitty sometimes. Ask me, I’ve been there on more than a few occasions. You name it, I’ve either lived through it myself, or have walked with others in the middle of horrible life circumstances. Because of this, I have adopted an attitude of “making the best of today”. I think that might be the answer to not getting stuck in a pile of shit. After officiating more funerals than I can count or remember in 22 years of ministry, I realize that I may live to 104, or die in a tragic accident today. So, what does that leave me? Today, simply today. That doesn’t change the fact that there is a future to plan for and things to look forward to, but they are not guaranteed. Only now is guaranteed.

Over the years of officiating funerals, I’ve celebrated the lives of young children to, yes, 104! They represent community leaders and heroes, people from big families, little families & just normal everyday people. However, there are two that really stand out because it was so difficult to do their eulogies. The first was a guy, I’ll call him Tim. When I met with his family, I asked many questions about his life. All I could remember was them telling me, “He was a no-good-rotten-son-of-a-bitch!” Literally, the only positive thing they could tell me was that he donated his organs. On the opposite end of the spectrum was a woman, let’s call her Mom. She had no accomplishments, no group memberships, few interests other than weaving plastic canvas & she made the best potato salad ever. Hers was a very short eulogy. She was simply the “best mom ever!” Two opposite lives. Both influenced the lives of others. At the end of the day, the important thing is knowing that our effect upon others results in knowing they were loved. It doesn’t matter what titles we have, what awards we’ve received, or the amount of money we’ve made. It is what we do in our everyday lives with the people we encounter along the way that is appreciated now and remembered later.

So, what will you do with today? What dreams need to come out from your thoughts? What project do you want to accomplish? What beautiful things are there to see right beside you, in your yard, 20 miles away or across the world? What recipe have you been wanting to try? What words will you chose to use? Most importantly, how will you express to those that you love how much you truly do love them?

Enjoying the Adventure!

Dr. Dink

Project Positive 101

I’ve noticed that there is an awful lot of complaining on social media about all the negative posts many people are making. They can be upsetting or just plain annoying. There are some things that you can do to change what you see! Social media is controlled by algorithms. Please don’t ask me to explain what that is —-consider it the brain of your favorite site!!! I’m just proud of myself that I know the word.

The algorithms of various sites work together too, for instance, have you ever looked up something on Amazon & before you know it, you see that product showing up in ads on Facebook? So, here are some ideas you can do to help the algorithm understand you better –I’ll use examples and vocabulary from Facebook, adjust accordingly for other social media:

Do a slew of searches for things that you DO want to see.

Search for pages of topics that your interested in & “like” a few
Join groups of interests you have. (Can you guess that I’m in German Shepherd groups? Yes, the beauty in the photo above is Auggie, I just wish she would stay off social media, I mean, really —go outside & fetch a stick, or race a Harley or something!
Do searches on sites like Amazon & Google—-I guarantee you will start seeing similar ads & posts.

“Like” pages and posts with positive influences, or pictures of bunnies and puppy dogs, or whatever it is that makes you happy.

Unfollow Friends that constantly post Toxic Shit

Sorry, but it’s true, there are people that you truly do like, but they have gotten into a negative roll of BS. I know . . you look at the things they post & are like, “WHAT?” You really don’t have to volunteer your time, your eyes & psyche to the negativity!!!!!!
If you “unfollow” they don’t get some notification in red that says, “Guess who doesn’t want to see you on their wall anymore!” Nope, you are the only one that knows. You can still search their name every now and then to see how their dog is . .
You can also unfriend. (Oh, ouch, but are they really a friend?)

LIKE & LIKE & LIKE & HEARTS & SMILEY FACES & WOWS!

I think this is the most effective. Just let that old algorithm know what you’re interested in. Have some fun in the next few days—- look through and respond with positive signs some posts that you enjoy & even as fast as tomorrow—- you will see more like it!

I hope this helps in your quest for a more positive world. Let me know how this works for you!

Enjoying the Adventure!

Dr. Dink

A Good Word

This is what I asked people as they passed by: What’s a good word for today? Here they are in the order I heard them, they speak for themselves!

Starbucks

I don’t know

Hope

Jesus

Beautiful

Sunshine

Joy

Education

Kindness

This question resulted in people smiling back at me and four great conversations about:

good coffee,
faith
what a local elementary school is doing to promote a healthy-attitude-environment for kids.
the need for people to be more positive in such a negative world.

So, it’s your turn . . . What’s a good word for the day?

Enjoying the Adventure!

Dr. Dink

Chance Encounter

OK, so the first thing I said to one of the ladies was, “I love you, you are my new best friend!!!!” I was heading to my favorite area to walk and was pulled by this magnetism from a mile out of the way. I mean, really, don’t yard sales pull you in too? When I arrived, she started googling over my grandson. She was instantly in love with his two year old self, then I overhear her saying, “Are you taking a nice walk with your Mommy?” (Meaning me, lol). She said it about 5 times when I said, “Mommy is at home—- I’m Grandma.” Her response? “You’re so pretty!” Now, let me ask, “don’t you want her to be your best friend too?”

I spent a while there looking around, mostly because I was enjoying their company so much. I did buy a couple of tank tops, but most of the clothes were out of my league. The casual dresses were so pretty & fashionable that I think if I bought one I would be compelled to join the local country club so I’d have a place to wear them! Not my down-to-earth style.
As I was getting ready to leave, I said to them both, “You two women are so wonderfully positive! You have made me smile the entire time I’ve been here. I’d like to know what drives your joy —can you tell me a story about your life? Your day? Was it the 8 cups of coffee you drank this morning?”

One Sister looked at the other and said, “Tell her.”

She began by saying, “I’ve had a lot of tragedy in my life.” Personally, I thought, “Did you not understand the question?” Her story was fascinating. Many years ago, she had been involved in a vehicle accident and was left for dead. Miraculously, physicians were able to revive her and after years of recovery, she had her life back. She embraced life with the attitude, “I guess God wasn’t done with me yet.” As she continued, I heard of an illness that nearly resulted in, “this doctor about killing me again!” They came from a family of 14 children, two had died, one of which was murdered.

I interrupted her, asking, “Many people would be bitter, sad, or fearful, how do keep that beautiful smile?” Her answer was something like this: she has always been grateful. It seems that having near death experiences have brought her to a place of embracing life to the fullest each day. Who has time to waste on negativity?

Then she giggled and told me about her zip-lining experience a couple of years ago. I shook my head and snickered as I remember the thrill of zip-lining myself. Imagine my shock when she said, “It broke!” As it turns out, something was wrong with the line and when she jumped off the platform the apparatus broke. She ended up hanging by the line for a long time and then her hands could no longer hold. . . yes, she broke her back in the fall. (Darn, Karen, this is supposed to be an uplifting blog!) Amazingly, she had a smile on her face the entire time she was talking. I walked away grateful for life, grateful for health, grateful that my zip-line trips have held tight & grateful that someone else was crazy over my grandbaby!

I believe that when you set out to embrace the positive that it will draw you in like a magnet. These beautiful sisters got up this morning, not knowing how much they would touch someone else’s life, but by chance, I am wonderfully changed by their stories.

Enjoying the Adventure!

Dr. Dink

Two Turtles, A Duck & A Big Ass Bass

I experienced such a sense of peace this morning as I took a morning walk. Here in the Sonoran Desert, the earlier the walk the better, before the hot sun does what the sun does. There is a beautiful walkway with a pond and fountains near my daughter’s house. On the way in, I saw turtles sunning on a rock and stopped to see them, but they dove into the water because I scared them when I stopped. On the way back, hoping to see the turtles at the same spot, I approached slower and observed quietly, hidden by a bush. I did see the turtles again—-but they had a buddy sitting with them.

2Turtles

What great delight to see, two turtles and a mallard duck, sharing a small rock just doing what turtles and ducks do. Then, I see movement in the water and here’s the tail of a big ass bass swimming around that same rock. Three different species doing what they do, being fish, turtles & ducks. I wish I could have taken a photo, (this one is similar) but I knew I would mess up the intricate balance that they had negotiated so that they could share this rock in peace.

There are a lot of different birds enjoying this suburban oasis. About mid-way through my walk there were Canadian Geese. Three full grown and three goslings. I also stopped to admire those cute little furry baby birds. But I knew, to keep the peace, I had to keep my distance and could not approach those little ones. Because I respected their space and kept quiet, they didn’t see me as a threat. However, had I walked toward those babies —– well, let’s just say there wouldn’t be any more peace for Karen!

rattler

As we prepare to move here to the desert, especially out where our property is, I know that I need to continue to learn. Back east, surely there are ducks, turtles, bass, and, of course, Canadian Geese, but in the wilds of the desert, there are different rules to living with wildlife. Can people, rattlesnakes, javelina and mountain lions get along on the same rock? Absolutely not! But we can get along on the same mountain. If I respect their territory and if I am smart about hiking, gardening, and other things it is possible. These dangerous creatures are basically shy and are as terrified of me! As I do what humans do while respecting what rattlesnakes do—- it is possible to co-exist.

To take this theme a step further . . . I wish humans of the 21^st Century understood this. We are living in a time where “our species” is becoming more and more stratified. There is such a sense of distrust of our own kind. Surely, we come from different countries, races, political agendas, religions, (go ahead and add to this list). But as the world gets smaller, the population grows, and travel is easier and less costly than ever, rather than embracing our differences and learning from each other, or simply avoiding what makes us uncomfortable, it seems that there is a greater sense of control issues, criticism, defensiveness and many other negative responses. This isn’t only from country to country, but it has spiraled down to neighbors and even family members. I believe that we humans all want peace, but inner and outer war is at hand in too many ways.

So, I guess the question begs to be asked, “If I can move into an environment where I need to learn how to enjoy my life while at the same time realize that I have to respect a rattlesnake for being a rattlesnake, or, I might find myself dead—–why can’t humans do the same thing?” “Why not learn new strategies for getting along with our Species?” “Why can’t we learn to bask in the sun on the same rock in the same way turtles, ducks and fish do?”

Turtles follow turtle rules

Ducks follow duck rules

Big Ass Bass follow bass rules

Rattlesnakes & javelina follow rules too

Let one of them break the barriers, yes, they will lash out. Rattlesnakes will strike, javelina will use those nasty teeth. Human beings will lash out too, and sometimes that lashing out is appropriate. Appropriate lashing out is not what I’m trying to point out. I’m of the impression that humans, at this stage of the game, are lashing out, not because of impending danger, or loss of territory. The human species is lashing out because of assumptions, unidentified fear and an inability to negotiate space on the rock. Peace sometimes “just happens”, but the truth is that peace is something that we all must work toward. Peace is work but the rewards are worth it!

peace heart We can learn from two turtles, a duck and a big ass bass—- I think it’s worth looking for ways to bring peace to this world. In our homes, in our communities, yes, social communities too. Turn off the negativity, look for the beauty, seek how to enjoy the peace. (I had to “work” / think about how I could approach this rock without scaring the inhabitants. I simply slowed down and got quiet as can be, it was “work” in the sense that I had to do something different to become a part of this peaceful scene. We can all do the same in our everyday lives as we endeavor to live among other species and humanity.

Enjoying the Adventure!
Dr. Dink

__________

Photos:

Turtle & duck: dinascitywildlife.com

Rattlesnake, https://sunnyrunning.com/2013/05/21/what-to-do-if-you-run-into-a-rattlesnake/ Google Imaages

Javelina: http://tucson.com/news/opinion/fitz/fitz-blog/the-ten-most-significant-javelina-pet-peeves/article_09266699-518c-5b39-9450-4dc405fb0240.html

Heart /Peace: https://publicdomainvectors.org/en/free-clipart/Peace-sign-and-heart/54253.html

Dancing at DSW

It happens sometimes . . . This time it probably helped that I was holding my grandson in my arms. All those neat rows of shoes in the aisles of DSW were completely tempting to a curious two year old! The lively music playing in the background was by someone of which I’m entirely too old to know their name, but young enough to enjoy their music. What’s a grandma to do? It started out with a toe tap & then it just happened, before I knew it, we were dancing with abandon in the shoe store. I have to admit though, I’ve been known to shuffle down the aisles of Home Depot too, I mean, really, they play oldies from the 70’s in our local store. Don’t you dance in the cement aisle too?

Generally, I’m respectful of the fact that others might think I’m a bit weird dancing at DSW or doing an Insanity Workout on the beach but, hey –if you feel like dancing, singing or doing push-ups. . . Go for it! I know, it is easy to say that people might laugh or think you’re nuts, but at the end of the day, who cares? When will you see them again? Your fun might just bring a smile to someone!

Speaking of smiles, I know we all aren’t cut out for unexpected public dancing, singing, working out, truth is, neither am I, but how about a smile? A big full-of-heart smile. Have you ever encountered someone that had a genuine smile on their face? They might be a friend, family, or perfect stranger while shopping. But tell me you can’t help but smile back. They are contagious!

Enjoying the Adventure! Dr. Dink

63 Degrees!

It’s all perspective. I basically live in two states, Northeast & Southwest. At present I’m here & he’s there. When my husband and I talk on the phone, one of the most natural things to talk about is the weather. It’s been a delayed, long winter in the Northeast, so I find myself apologizing to him as he splits more wood to keep warm and I’m floating in the pool getting a great tan.

How exciting this morning when I looked: 63 degrees in both places! This doesn’t happen often. He’s putting on shorts while I’m wondering where my sweater is . . .

This got me thinking about perspective and what “works”. There are so many highly marketed items and ideals promising great results for anything from diets & exercise to the best of, well, almost any product. However, the truth is, what works for some will be the opposite for someone else. To have an attitude of positivity, I believe it is important to know this truth. We are not all the same. What works for you might just do the opposite for me. And this is OK!

So today, do me a favor. Think about what makes YOU feel good. What makes YOU smile? It may not interest your neighbor or co-worker, but that really doesn’t matter does it? I am willing to bet that the resulting smile on your face will benefit them too!

Enjoying the Adventure,

Dr. Dink