Healing is a Great Word

In a short text frenzy and quite unknowingly my friend gave me “heal” as a word for the day.
Then adds, “HEALING is a great word”.
Yeah, she continued, “Healing happens in relationship”.
Well, back in the day when I was a pastor, before I found my inner mouthy-blogger-try-and-make-the-world-a-more-positive-place-self, I used to say this:

Human beings have great power to heal,

however, we also have great power to destroy.

I’ve experienced both to incredible degrees, have you? On the one hand is the pendulum swinging, let’s say, south. Holy Shit can people be nasty! I’ll talk about that first because this is a positive blog & I want to leave you on a good note! What matters is the degree of relationship, I mean really, if someone you don’t know is, let’s call them bitchy to you, their interaction gives you a moment of shock, a story to tell & knowledge of who you want to avoid or be like, eh? However the closer the relationship is when real destruction can occur. When it comes to relationships with people we work or socialize with, or call friend, or dare I say lover, and they choose to hurt rather than hug, even with words, destruction is not a strong enough word. Sometimes it’s temporary, forgiven and we move on. Sometimes we work like Hell to save (heal) the relationship. And then at other times the only thing to do is walk away. All-in-all, I believe we have the choice to live a life that brings health and healing to others and it is worth every effort to exercise the power to bring healing in whatever level of relationship we are experiencing.

view of people in kitchen

 

So let’s look at the other side of the pendulum, it’s a great place to be. In my 22 years of working closely with people in about every situation life has to offer, when it comes to healing, those who had a positive attitude and strong relationships just did better all-around. This doesn’t mean that they didn’t have major life issues either!
Let’s take something as awful as cancer, for instance. The fear, the pain, the unknown can tear a person apart. However those who are positive and hopeful just seemed to do much better. If they were surrounded by loving people, wow! The difference always astounded me. I think it would be interesting to research. I’m sure that type of research been done already, but I’m willing to wager that those who are surrounded by love heal quicker and may suffer less. For those that are terminal, yes, one can see death as a healing. I know that sounds strange, I guess you have to experience this phenomenon to fully understand.

woman riding hanging swing in forest

Life isn’t all about the full swing of the pendulum, is it? For the most part, we spend our lives somewhere in the middle of that swing. So I guess the question begs to be asked, “How can I live in a sense of strength, dignity, happiness, love, etc. First off, if you are in a bad hurtful relationship, get out. If your boss is an incurable, exhausting ass, start looking for another job! If you have issues with your family members, is there a way to avoid the poison? Know that there are some situations that you are better away from. If you are unsafe, you will not change that individual.

I’m sure that the following list can be expanded and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments, possibly these thoughts will help to bring relational healing into our lives for the benefit of our body, mind and spirit:

  • Seek to be around people who are pleasant to be around. People who are real. People that appreciate you for who you are and don’t try to form you into some fantasy that they have conjured up in their minds of who is worthy of their presence.
  • Talk with people who naturally smile.
  • Seek relationships that are encouraging rather than critical.
  • Seek relationships that are give and take. There is nothing better than giving, but it is important to receive with grace too.
  • Seek to be around people who listen and engage.
  • Seek like-mindedness, but understand that everyone is different, we may agree on a lot of things, but chances are there will be times that we differ. That’s ok. How does that person handle your difference of opinion?
  • Seek to laugh.
  • Seek to be around someone that enjoys your company, but understands you need self-time too.

Ultimately, we call can be a catalyst for a healthy and healing relationship. Be who you are and know that your attitude and actions towards others can be the difference between a good or great relationship! Look at the above bullets and ask the question, “Am I anything like this?”

I know this is far from an exhaustive list! Please add to it in the comments below!

Enjoying the Adventure,

Dr. Dink

 

You are welcome to visit my other blogs!

Nail in my Pocket

Dink’s Digs

Brown Bag Letter

Photos by Pexels

Photo by Artem Bali on Pexels.com

Numbers

I’m simply intimidated by numbers. Those numbers are 911. Last Tuesday I was all ready to start a pithy little blog about this watermelon I cut. I noticed there was a heart shape in the cut, so I took a photo. As I was writing a short blog with a message something like, “How can you not be positive after cutting into a watermelon and finding a heart?”  I looked down at the date. 9.11.18. I found that anything I tried to write fell short of inappropriate, maybe even stupid on this particular day.

I also had a very weird intuition about that Bitch in the Atlantic, Florence. Why intuition? Why did you have to be right this time? I’ve come to trust intuition —-sometimes it’s helpful, other times, you just wish it was wronger than wrong.

Considering positivity, one must acknowledge there are times of serious remembrance and fearful anticipation in the world. Additionally, when that anticipation becomes reality, a sense of empathy for the suffering and loss in the aftermath is in order. Sweet little stories need to be quiet. There are reasons to be less than positive aren’t there? At the same time, I constantly wonder, thus this blog, why look for and embrace the negative? How has it become good marketing technique to emphasize negativity? There are enough things that happen in life that make me want to quote something from the book, “Alexander’s Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” without the constant barrage of negative marketing.

When crisis occur whether that be world, national, weather related or at home, there is nothing positive about it. However, our response can be.

I’ll write about 911 in “Numbers” (Part 2). However for today, let me tackle flooding.

I’ve lived in Central Pennsylvania since 1995. For a Jersey Girl, it was quite surprising to me that there would be a great problem with flooding in the mountains. Yet, creeks rise, run-off happens and, wow! I’ve seen homes destroyed again and again. The Red Cross, churches and civic groups all collect much needed funds to help the victims of flooding. Yet, what I have found to be even more rewarding is volunteering. Whether it be along the Susquehanna River in Shickshinny, or a helping a year after the flood in a town up high in the mountains, help is needed. Often by folks who fall between the cracks where assistance is granted. Or something as terrible as Hurricane Sandy, or now Florence, getting involved with clean up, rebuilding walls and helping those who just happened to be in the path of something awful is incredibly helpful and personally rewarding.

The urgent aftermath is daunting, but trust me in months, even a couple of years from now, people will still be picking up the pieces of their lives and homes. When I was working with Penn State students we did quite a few trips to help others that were affected by devastating storms. What we found was very grateful recipients of our attempts to help. What I also found was a great sense of humanity at it’s finest. I saw students that never picked up a hammer before helping to stud-out a room. I saw others climb under crawl spaces in what looked like space suits pulling insulation out of the floor joists of a home that had been flooded (6 months after the storm). The results were wonderful. A sense of pride in a job well done. Statements like, “I never thought I’d ever do anything like this!” or, “I can’t wait to tell my Mom!”

I think anyone would agree with me that there is nothing positive about any crisis. Nothing. However, our caring response is priceless. Knowing there will be folks that will give of themselves in coming months and years to help gives me reason to celebrate humanity. Looking at first-responders risking themselves for others is the beginning. However, I see those who will be last-responders too. There are many unsung heroes who will respond to crisis in very practical and helpful ways. For this I’m grateful.

When I think of these good things that will happen in the near and far future in response to crisis, my heart is full.  (Maybe a heart in my watermelon isn’t inappropriate after all).

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Enjoying the Adventure,

Dr. Dink

 

 

 

 

 

Green Bananas

We went to the grocery store the other day and all they had were green bananas. I bought them knowing that (I’d suffer for a day or two before) they would turn yellow in a couple of days But I like them pretty ripe . . . so (The suffering would last) I’d have to wait even longer.

shallow focus photography of unripe bananas
Photo by Phani Chandra on Pexels.com

Each morning since, I’ve woke up, checked the bananas and (wondered if I put them in the microwave, would they ripen faster?) said to myself, “Another day, Karen, another day!”  There is great anticipation in my life for these bananas. I think they will taste better just because I’m waiting for them.

Yesterday, just for fun on Down to Earth Positive Facebook Group page I put a post: Fill in the Blanks, “Today will be __________________.”  It was fun as the day went on hearing notifications that someone responded. Here are the results:

Amazing

Fun

Hot

Awesome

Only filled with good news!

Terrific

Sun Filled Day again

Glorious

Busy

A Fun Adventure

Fabulous

Fantastic

The best day of the rest of my life

I think these words are like my green bananas (and a little less frustrating!). They are loaded with fun, positivity and looking-forward-to-it-tive-ness!  So while I’m waiting for my bananas to ripen I’m going to take these words and work them into my plans, my vocabulary, my thoughts. Want to join me?

A response came later in the day to “Only filled with Good News”

The response you ask? And it was!

May your day be filled with, “And it was!”

Enjoying the Adventure,

Dr. Dink

You are welcome to visit my new blog: Nail in My Pocket

Feature Photo by: Pexels

They Clapped!

dawn dusk forest grass
Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom on Pexels.com

It was toward the end of the 10 mile race and a young woman came in toward the finish line.  Everyone clapped! Even the elderly couple sitting on a bench stood up and clapped. She wasn’t first, as a matter of fact, she was probably close to last. She was a runner. They clapped for them all. I’m not a runner and have never been to the end of a race before, it touched me to the core that everyone, just for finishing was acknowledged.

It got me quite emotional. It makes me want to clap my hands for others!

Have a wonderful day!

Enjoying the Adventure,

Dr. Dink

Memory & Hopes & Dreams

I am amazed by the power of memory, its effect on us, and how it can lead us to our hopes and dreams.  After a text conversation with a friend last night about Arizona, I received a message from my daughter this morning. She said when they drive on dirt roads when on an Arizona discovery adventure, that my grandson starts talking about wanting to see a cow! I find this, not only exciting, but AMAZING!

My grandson is so young so I wonder how can he remember a ride or two over the past year? How does the mind work that he associates dirt roads with cows?

One of the best parts of our property and future home in Arizona is the 12 mile dirt-road-adventure to get there! Along the way, it is commonplace to see free range cattle. Truthfully, it is difficult not to stop and tell them how beautiful they are! Mooooooo a time or two, and if Grandbaby is along, to say, “Look at that cow”, “Cow says, MOO!”  This particular bull was eating a Prickly Pear Cactus for breakfast —I know, right?

As if free range cattle isn’t enough, for me, the wild donkey take first prize. They are the cutest animals . . . EVER!

Donkey and baby

Now Gbaby has my memory going wild!

This reminds me of my first visit to Rickett’s Glenn State Park. It was easier when I lived closer, but I try and make a yearly pilgrimage there. It is a place of peace for me. When we first moved to that area we took a ride to see the park and I had this weird, “I’ve been here before familiarity feeling of, WHAT?”  Only to find out that when I was nine months old, my family went camping and did the 19 Waterfall Trail. My Mom’s a tough one, she carried me most of the way for 3 1/2 miles!

Image result for waterfall trail ricketts glen

With this experience in mind, and Gbaby relating to cows and dirt roads, I am reminded of just how amazingly powerful memory is. Memory can lead us to good, bad, or neutral feelings. But it can lead us into our day or even the future. It can affect our life-choices and relationships. I think the most important thing to keep in mind is that the memories we concentrate on, as well as, those we are creating for ourselves and others really can make a difference. Even if it is something as simple as riding on a dirt road!

 

These memories, particularly of Arizona and hugging my Gbaby, give me a sense of expectancy and urgency for today. It makes me want to climb up on the roof of the house we are flippig and nail in those shingles! Even though I know it will not be easy, it brings us one step closer to our dream. It gives me gumption to want to finish the model of the house we will build out in the desert highlands. Memory is a powerful tool for the future!

future house model

I write this blog as my protest against the negative era we find ourselves living in. I believe that we are all effected by it in various ways and different levels. I do what I can to “fight it” because I believe it is much healthier to embrace a more positive attitude, thus changing the world for the better.

I generally try and ask a question, or give a challenge in my blog. Today begs two questions:

  1. What memories just make you feel great?
  2. What will you do TODAY to create a good memory for yourself or someone else? (How about tomorrow?)

I hope that today you find yourself enjoying your memories and challenged to create new ones! You are welcome to share your thoughts, memories and hopes for new ones in the comments!

(Truly) Enjoying the Adventure,

Dr. Dink

____________________________

Please visit my other blog: The Brown Bag Letter

An earlier Cow blog —- one of my favorites!   Slight Glance to the Left

The Beautiful waterfall image was found at: https://www.google.com/search?q=waterfall+trail+ricketts+glen&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjU5Ym28dXcAhXnpVkKHZU0BGIQ_AUICygC&biw=1242&bih=557#imgrc=-8iGBceeF_usqM:

Can’t Help but Giggle!

We had some pretty significant flooding here in Pennsylvania yesterday. Our yard became a lake for a short time, well, actually twice. Thank goodness our house was unharmed and we actually had fun, I mean, there is nothing better than playing with a German Shepherd in your flooded yard!

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We saw waterfalls on our hill that we never knew existed.

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One of the highlights of the day was finding a mother duck and 8 ducklings at our local park. They must have hatched during the rain the night before, they were so small.

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While I was admiring them and taking photos and squeaking, “How cute!”, my husband says, “This poor mama is exhausted and there is no way the little ones can get out of here.” They were stuck in a dead-end area with walls and steps that were too high for the little ones to manage.

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So, he slowly and gently leads them toward the steps. He guided the babes up along with Mama who suddenly decides that he’s a predator and went after him. (I have video, it’s hilarious!) Determined, he continued his mission and the babes and Mama were reunited with the other ducks and waddled off telling them about their recent adventure.

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Later in the day, hubby shows me his hand where there’s a red mark —- evidently, he was bit by Mama-Duck! This morning I can’t help but giggle, I mean, really, WHO GETS BIT BY A DUCK!?!?!?!

Many people have stories to tell of grand adventures, but what a wonderful minority hubby can now claim. . . bit by a duck. Now, that’s something to tell the grandkids!

Enjoying the Adventure,

Dr. Dink

Ditch the Muscles!

This story is by request. Keep in mind, I’ll be 58 this month (Presents accepted). We are flipping a house. It is built on a very steep hill and my legs are gaining muscles going up and down, up and down, up and down S.T.E.P.S. Lots of them. To get to the basement level, there are 19 steps up. We are currently working on the roof. Need I say more?

Erosion doesn’t only happen at the beach, or rivers when in flood stage.  Hills also have a mind of their own. There happens to be huge chunk of concrete that slipped crooked along the steps going up from street level. We keep looking at it, knowing that it has to be dug out before we determine how to straighten. Yesterday Hubby was working on a solo section of the roof and I assigned myself to trimming and cleaning up the yard. So, after trimming and dealing with the grass, I got out my trusty shovel and

started to dig a ditch

about 15ft x 2ft x 2 ft

on a 45 degree angle hill

after about 5 days of heavy rain

I’m just grateful my name isn’t Jill, or Jack for that matter because I did not fall down that slippery, wet hill, although I came close a few times. The hill ends up at the edge of a narrow busy street. It would have been UGLY. I mean UGLY.  I had to engage every muscle just to keep myself upright, let alone dig a damn ditch! Oh, that’s poetic: Dig a Damn Ditch! I’d like to hear a poet tackle that one, or say fast 10 times. I digress, sorry.

So excuse me if I bitch and complain about every muscle in my body hurting this morning! It hurt to pick up my coffee cup. Come to think of it, rolling, literally, out of bed was a groaning situation. Oh no! The sun is out today & we will be back at Harry this morning. Don’t you name your houses?  I think I’ll crawl up those steps today groaning & moaning! My poor husband, I’ll have to dig out noise cancelling ear pods, selective hearing won’t prevent hearing these groans.

My muscles are complaining this morning, but in actuality, I’m not. I pushed myself beyond what I would expect of me yesterday. It was actually a lot of fun (?) and the feeling of pride and accomplishment cannot be beat. Sometimes pushing ourselves beyond our self-imposed limitations can stretch our muscles, possibly our emotions, or our mental capacities, but it is always good to try.  My suggestion for today is try something different or new. Do something that stretches those things that you think limit you.

Now, if I could only get off the couch!

Enjoying the Adventure!

Dr. Dink

______________________

Please visit my other blog: The Brown Bag Letter

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