Healing is a Great Word

In a short text frenzy and quite unknowingly my friend gave me “heal” as a word for the day.
Then adds, “HEALING is a great word”.
Yeah, she continued, “Healing happens in relationship”.
Well, back in the day when I was a pastor, before I found my inner mouthy-blogger-try-and-make-the-world-a-more-positive-place-self, I used to say this:

Human beings have great power to heal,

however, we also have great power to destroy.

I’ve experienced both to incredible degrees, have you? On the one hand is the pendulum swinging, let’s say, south. Holy Shit can people be nasty! I’ll talk about that first because this is a positive blog & I want to leave you on a good note! What matters is the degree of relationship, I mean really, if someone you don’t know is, let’s call them bitchy to you, their interaction gives you a moment of shock, a story to tell & knowledge of who you want to avoid or be like, eh? However the closer the relationship is when real destruction can occur. When it comes to relationships with people we work or socialize with, or call friend, or dare I say lover, and they choose to hurt rather than hug, even with words, destruction is not a strong enough word. Sometimes it’s temporary, forgiven and we move on. Sometimes we work like Hell to save (heal) the relationship. And then at other times the only thing to do is walk away. All-in-all, I believe we have the choice to live a life that brings health and healing to others and it is worth every effort to exercise the power to bring healing in whatever level of relationship we are experiencing.

view of people in kitchen

 

So let’s look at the other side of the pendulum, it’s a great place to be. In my 22 years of working closely with people in about every situation life has to offer, when it comes to healing, those who had a positive attitude and strong relationships just did better all-around. This doesn’t mean that they didn’t have major life issues either!
Let’s take something as awful as cancer, for instance. The fear, the pain, the unknown can tear a person apart. However those who are positive and hopeful just seemed to do much better. If they were surrounded by loving people, wow! The difference always astounded me. I think it would be interesting to research. I’m sure that type of research been done already, but I’m willing to wager that those who are surrounded by love heal quicker and may suffer less. For those that are terminal, yes, one can see death as a healing. I know that sounds strange, I guess you have to experience this phenomenon to fully understand.

woman riding hanging swing in forest

Life isn’t all about the full swing of the pendulum, is it? For the most part, we spend our lives somewhere in the middle of that swing. So I guess the question begs to be asked, “How can I live in a sense of strength, dignity, happiness, love, etc. First off, if you are in a bad hurtful relationship, get out. If your boss is an incurable, exhausting ass, start looking for another job! If you have issues with your family members, is there a way to avoid the poison? Know that there are some situations that you are better away from. If you are unsafe, you will not change that individual.

I’m sure that the following list can be expanded and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments, possibly these thoughts will help to bring relational healing into our lives for the benefit of our body, mind and spirit:

  • Seek to be around people who are pleasant to be around. People who are real. People that appreciate you for who you are and don’t try to form you into some fantasy that they have conjured up in their minds of who is worthy of their presence.
  • Talk with people who naturally smile.
  • Seek relationships that are encouraging rather than critical.
  • Seek relationships that are give and take. There is nothing better than giving, but it is important to receive with grace too.
  • Seek to be around people who listen and engage.
  • Seek like-mindedness, but understand that everyone is different, we may agree on a lot of things, but chances are there will be times that we differ. That’s ok. How does that person handle your difference of opinion?
  • Seek to laugh.
  • Seek to be around someone that enjoys your company, but understands you need self-time too.

Ultimately, we call can be a catalyst for a healthy and healing relationship. Be who you are and know that your attitude and actions towards others can be the difference between a good or great relationship! Look at the above bullets and ask the question, “Am I anything like this?”

I know this is far from an exhaustive list! Please add to it in the comments below!

Enjoying the Adventure,

Dr. Dink

 

You are welcome to visit my other blogs!

Nail in my Pocket

Dink’s Digs

Brown Bag Letter

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Photo by Artem Bali on Pexels.com

It’s Not About the Free Bagel!

Let me say right from the beginning. I’m a health freak, so, my end-goal wasn’t a free bagel. However, that free bagel represents all that is good and nice and, well RIGHT WITH THE FREAKING WORLD!
It has been a great week for me, my second grandson was born and I’ve been here to help out my daughter. To make matters even better, they live in Arizona! Blue skies and one day of rain vs. my husband back in Pennsylvania telling me, “Baby it’s cold outside!” Here I am, in The Valley of the Sun wearing a tee-shirt! Karen is definitely in her happy place. I’m also having fun making my mother a memory teddy bear from the material of her mother’s winter coat. Life is good!

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On Friday afternoon I scampered about town looking for eyes for the teddy bear. Evidently, people don’t sew much anymore so the demand for beautiful teddy bear eyes is minimal. Therefore, after searching at least three stores for a needle in a haystack . . . I was ready to buy a teddy bear and cut it’s eyes out, but that just seems cruel, so I got creative, went to JoAnne Fabrics and found some buttons and beads to try out on Mr. Teddy. Smiling I went to check out, unfortunately though, Tis the Season (of giving and joy?).
There was a line to check out of least 30 people that stretched across the entire front of the store. Everyone seemed to take it in stride and it was a very pleasant experience . . . until . . . it was my turn to go to the register. I walked up with a big smile on my face and in a lowered tone, the checker glared at me and spoke with that voice your mother used when she was really pissed off at you, but didn’t want to yell, but she just “used that tone”. Yeah, I was terrified! Evidently, there was some rule that she had to say a magic word when she was fully prepared to accept the next person. No, there wasn’t a sign that said, “Wait for someone to yell at you before you come forward.” Or even, “Beware of teller #6, she’s a bitch.” or “Happy freaking holidays, we are tired!” or “Get the hell out of this store! I only make minimum wage and didn’t sign up for this!” I meekly returned to the line . . .
THEN I was (very politely) called by the next available teller and as I placed my things on the counter, I said, “Thank you for not yelling at me.” That was it, I got it out of my system, well yeah, in the short conversation I also said, “No wonder people choose to shop online at Amazon!” No, I wouldn’t tell her (I think the manager) which teller was rude to me. Because I’m a really nice person in my happy place who just found the perfect teddy bear eyes & I’m going home to love on my grandbabies. No need to rat-out some woman who probably dealt with a really bitchy customer right before I came to her smiling. But her attitude to me was uncalled for and rude as can be.
Did I tell you I was a health freak? Nonetheless, I had two bagels at Panera Bread on my shopping list. (Come on, I just had my second grandbaby, my hormones are all out of whack!) Two young people were at the counter and they smiled at me and said, “Hi!” as I approached them, so I said, “Hey! Thanks for not yelling at me for coming up to your counter!” We had a short conversation about “Tis the season”. Then the young man and I continued with a friendly banter as he rang up my order and got my bagels. As he handed me the paper bag, he said, “I threw in an extra bagel, just because “. So I took my bag full of empty calories and smiled all the way home. I’m smiling about it now. Why? BECAUSE HE WAS NICE!

It has nothing to do with a free bagel.

It has to do with KINDNESS.

OK dear reader, at least here in America, during the (dare I say Christmas Season) people can be really impatient, stressed and sometimes down-right nasty. This has always confused me. I mean, if you’re CELEBRATING Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, or a December birthday or even the winter solstice, or some other event that leads to family dinners and gift-giving, isn’t this reason to celebrate, be nice, be joyful and be extra human to fellow humans?
Well yeah, I know . . . This time of year represents high and holy days for many believers. Even if you don’t consider one of these holidays from a religious perspective, and even though your mother in law is a bitch after preparing a meal for you and 35 other people in a three bedroom rancher. Even though Uncle Bill is an obnoxious drunk and Susie is still holding a grudge . . . You go, you love your family, you put up with the craziness every year and come home with a gift you don’t like, it is Tradition. There is something special and wonderful and joyous going on. However, for some reason, this year the stress seems higher than usual all around. You see it on Social Media, people picking “issues” and then to choosing to become a victim of that issue. You see it on the news as the media seems to enhance arguments and issues. It is unhealthy, and frankly scares the shit out of me more than the teller at JoAnne’s Fabric Store!
OK, so I have a challenge. Be nice 10 times to people in some way everyday for the next 30 days. I know, that comes natural for you, me too, but if we do it purposefully and with intent, who knows, we just might change the world. In addition, challenge three other people to do the same. You can even have fun explaining:
I read this blog where this woman is bitching about how awful people can be to each other in the most wonderful season of joy and giving . . . but really, she’s not a bitch (well, sometimes that’s debatable, she is from New Jersey originally and is proud of it). Anyway, she gave a challenge to be NICE or do something NICE for the next 30 days and invite three others to do the same. Want to join me in changing the world?

I HATE MATH, BUT—-

YOU 10 X 30 = 300 smiles

x 3 invites = 900 smiles

x 3 their invites Something like thousands upon thousands of smiles

EQUALS exponential KINDNESS!
Being nice doesn’t cost a damn thing. It’s not about a free bagel! And –Merry Christmas! OK, yeah, so I know there are other holidays included in December, but what I mean is Merry Christmas if you celebrate Christmas, Happy whatever other holiday you personally celebrate and yes, to the atheist looking forward to family tradition—- I hope your mother in law is nice this year!
Enjoying the Adventure!
Dr. Dink

#BENICECHALLENGE

Success

I don’t know about you, but for hubby and I days off are . . . MINIMAL. When we have a day off we tend to drive ourselves nuts trying to make up for lost time at home. Yeah? Then you go back to work the next day, or over the weekend and wonder what happened to the time. You too, huh?

We actually went away for the weekend! Imagine that.

Our little mini-vacation was a perfect scenario, we got to visit with my Son & his girlfriend at her parents beautiful cabin nestled in the mountainous woods of Pennsylvania. There was no cell service and no internet—-After suffering a short period of withdrawal, we relaxed at the camp-fire, took lengthy walks, enjoyed the abundant wild-life including deer, turkey, squirrels. We even square-danced!

adventure beautiful boardwalk bridge
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

It was particularly interesting when a huge green bug about the size of a Pterodactyl landed on my wine glass at the fire. Yes, of course I finished my wine!

closeup photography of green grasshopper
Photo by Egor Kamelev on Pexels.com

I’m not proposing a life of ease, nor would I want to not-work-so-hard. It’s in my nature and I would be totally bored if I wasn’t as active as I am. However! In order to keep up I think it is important to take time to relax; to enjoy guilt free down time; to build positive and fun memories with family and friends. Honestly, when you take time to just enjoy yourself, (without trying to build that business you so enjoy) you end up more productive when you return back to work. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, expensive or stressful to plan.

So, my positive thought of the day is enjoy yourself every now and again, even on a regular basis! Don’t feel guilty about it! Enjoy this wonderful adventure of life!

Dr. Dink

Please visit my new blog: Nail in My Pocket

 

That Simple

My daughter was cutting up small pieces of paper, of course, I had to ask. She motioned to the fireplace mantle and said it’s a gratitude jar. That simple.

I remember cuss jars at work. If you let a 4-letter fly, you were to put a quarter in the jar. But that was in the day of having change in your pocket! (Obviously, if you read my blog, I don’t mind so much having no quarters in my pocket!)

I like this idea of a special place set aside for gratitude. A reminder. I believe gratitude is the basis for all sorts of positive reactions to life.

Begs the question . . . what are you grateful for?

Enjoying the Adventure! (And grateful to be on it)

Dr. Dink

I’d love to hear your comments and questions & promise to get back to you quickly!

You are welcome visit my other blogs:

Nail in My Pocket            —-Adventures in Frugal House-Flipping

Down to Earth Positive   — Looking at positivity in everyday life

Brown Bag Letter            —-Antique Photos and family folklore preserving personal history.

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Pencliff

 

 

Memory & Hopes & Dreams

I am amazed by the power of memory, its effect on us, and how it can lead us to our hopes and dreams.  After a text conversation with a friend last night about Arizona, I received a message from my daughter this morning. She said when they drive on dirt roads when on an Arizona discovery adventure, that my grandson starts talking about wanting to see a cow! I find this, not only exciting, but AMAZING!

My grandson is so young so I wonder how can he remember a ride or two over the past year? How does the mind work that he associates dirt roads with cows?

One of the best parts of our property and future home in Arizona is the 12 mile dirt-road-adventure to get there! Along the way, it is commonplace to see free range cattle. Truthfully, it is difficult not to stop and tell them how beautiful they are! Mooooooo a time or two, and if Grandbaby is along, to say, “Look at that cow”, “Cow says, MOO!”  This particular bull was eating a Prickly Pear Cactus for breakfast —I know, right?

As if free range cattle isn’t enough, for me, the wild donkey take first prize. They are the cutest animals . . . EVER!

Donkey and baby

Now Gbaby has my memory going wild!

This reminds me of my first visit to Rickett’s Glenn State Park. It was easier when I lived closer, but I try and make a yearly pilgrimage there. It is a place of peace for me. When we first moved to that area we took a ride to see the park and I had this weird, “I’ve been here before familiarity feeling of, WHAT?”  Only to find out that when I was nine months old, my family went camping and did the 19 Waterfall Trail. My Mom’s a tough one, she carried me most of the way for 3 1/2 miles!

Image result for waterfall trail ricketts glen

With this experience in mind, and Gbaby relating to cows and dirt roads, I am reminded of just how amazingly powerful memory is. Memory can lead us to good, bad, or neutral feelings. But it can lead us into our day or even the future. It can affect our life-choices and relationships. I think the most important thing to keep in mind is that the memories we concentrate on, as well as, those we are creating for ourselves and others really can make a difference. Even if it is something as simple as riding on a dirt road!

 

These memories, particularly of Arizona and hugging my Gbaby, give me a sense of expectancy and urgency for today. It makes me want to climb up on the roof of the house we are flippig and nail in those shingles! Even though I know it will not be easy, it brings us one step closer to our dream. It gives me gumption to want to finish the model of the house we will build out in the desert highlands. Memory is a powerful tool for the future!

future house model

I write this blog as my protest against the negative era we find ourselves living in. I believe that we are all effected by it in various ways and different levels. I do what I can to “fight it” because I believe it is much healthier to embrace a more positive attitude, thus changing the world for the better.

I generally try and ask a question, or give a challenge in my blog. Today begs two questions:

  1. What memories just make you feel great?
  2. What will you do TODAY to create a good memory for yourself or someone else? (How about tomorrow?)

I hope that today you find yourself enjoying your memories and challenged to create new ones! You are welcome to share your thoughts, memories and hopes for new ones in the comments!

(Truly) Enjoying the Adventure,

Dr. Dink

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Please visit my other blog: The Brown Bag Letter

An earlier Cow blog —- one of my favorites!   Slight Glance to the Left

The Beautiful waterfall image was found at: https://www.google.com/search?q=waterfall+trail+ricketts+glen&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjU5Ym28dXcAhXnpVkKHZU0BGIQ_AUICygC&biw=1242&bih=557#imgrc=-8iGBceeF_usqM:

Beauty Surprise!

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Usually, robins, yellow finch & chick-a-dee visit my sisters bird feeder tree. I was minding my own business washing a piece of fruit at the sink and I hear her husband say, “Oh! look at that!” My sister is quite the accomplished photographer and preparing for a show in the fall so she ran off to get her camera. I got out my cell phone. Poor sissy, he flew off just as she came back. She would have got a much better photo. I got a great memory!

Red Shouldered Hawk baby. My, my, my! Beauty is everywhere, sometimes it sneaks up in surprising places!

Enjoying the Adventure (A little more than my sissy on this day!)

Dr. Dink

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Please visit my other blog: The Brown Bag Letter

 

You Decide . . .

It’s summer, you know what THAT means, bugs of all kinds just messing with you and they really enjoy it.

I was standing at the stove, making a really good dinner and I hear my husband running down the steps holding his finger straight in the air. No, not THAT finger! The other one! Now, he is from England, so please hear this with a really cool whispery voice and the lovely accent as you read, it adds to the drama.  “Oh, bloody Hell, that bugger, fOck, a hornet stung my finger!” Hornet stings really hurt, they are the worst, maybe they are the Godzilla the of the insect world. He made a paste of baking powder to put on his finger, then was on his hornet-murderous way.

 

On the other hand —

There was a fruit fly in my Merlot.

You decide! Have a nice day!

I know, Damn fruit flies!

 

 

Enjoying the adventure, 

Dr. Dink

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Please visit my other Blog:  Brown Bag Letter –a blog of stories celebrating “personal history”. You will find antique anonymous photos connected to stories people have shared with me about their grandparents and family folklore.

I encourage you to visit other bloggers at the following sites. You’ll find almost everything imaginable that can be written, in every form, from all over the world!

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