Change

Today’s blog is in response to a request. “Karen, can you write about change?” Oh my, change, no matter what the change is can bring different responses. Change can bring great joy, ambiguity or great stress. Even change that we ask for can cause us to be unsure, afraid, and excited all at the same time. Change is usually coupled with new responsibilities and differences which can be hard to identify at first.

When we experience changes in our lives, some are greeted with a sense of relief. Only you know those times in your life when things were tough and you made a decision to do something about it. Possibly you threw your hands in the air and said, “Enough is enough!” I have made the decision that this will not happen anymore and you became the catalyst for change. As much as you know this was necessary, there were more questions than answers, more mystery than common stability.

Oftentimes change surprises us. The event may be celebratory or filled with grief. But, no matter what, we are different afterwards. How can I write about the essence of change? Because, like every other human being, I’ve experienced it too. Over and over, some change was welcome, some vilified. I think the ability to handle life-change may have a lot to do with our personality type or possibly how we were raised and our life experiences. However, I do know we all handle it differently. I’ve taken many classes to learn about life change. I’ve had my own life experience, and have also helped others to either welcome or learn to live through change. I don’t much appreciate it when there is an expectation that everyone will respond to the same thing similarly. None of us truly knows all the dynamics that bring us to today and today’s response, or for that matter the thought of tomorrow.

For me, most change is welcome. I have always signed letters and now this blog, “Enjoying the Adventure!” Rather than think of change as imposing it’s way upon me, I look ahead wondering, “What’s next?” Therefore, when change occurs, I’m more likely to embrace it. Although, there are some very serious instances where I just wanted to tuck my proverbial tail between my legs, shiver, hide under the carpet and hope that I would wake up only to find that I was having a nightmare. I’d be a fool to pretend that all change has been welcomed and it would be deceiving to write in such a way.

Let me give an illustration through a gift I recently received. While away last weekend, we had the opportunity to watch a demonstration of a tree being sliced into slats of wood. It was a poplar tree. The event was amazing to me as I have been a woodworker most of my adult life. The tree itself had a very light colored wood, not a whole lot of character, other than a knot in the wood every now and then. It is pretty, and it could certainly make a nice piece of furniture but not extraordinary.

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Then the next slice was made. The stunning piece of wood hidden deep inside this tree was so fantastic that they stopped the demonstration so that the folks gathered could walk up and see it’s beauty. I am an observer of people and what I noticed is that after about a half hour of gazing at what had been hidden by the mundane, the people were in true community. They were talking about the beauty of this wood, then conversations evolved. The people were talking and laughing together, some knew each other well, others were total strangers, but this revelation of beauty brought peace in the woods that day. There was beauty within that we all enjoyed and were touched by.  May I remind you that this beauty was revealed by a huge band saw cutting 2 inch slices into this tree? Is it even remotely possible that our life band saws cutting into our ordinary stable lives may feel quite painful, but also have the opportunity to bring about something incredibly beautiful?

Please take a look at the board pictured above.

Now, let me reveal what the next slice (The other side of the above board) revealed.

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How can something with such nice, but not extraordinary character have such beauty so close, so hidden. This basically white board had deep mahogany, purple, gold and gray colors. Somehow that basic pattern of wood became one of the most unique and beautiful specimens I have ever encountered. I feel so privileged that it was given to me as a gift. When I make something with it, (I’m not quite sure what yet) I think that it will have to be displayed in such a way to see both sides to remind me that there may be incredible beauty hidden in the most surprising places.

So, what about change? It happens. If we think that all will remain “as is” we kid ourselves. Sometimes change brings great pain and grief. Even that pain can be something we look back on and say, “Wow! If I only knew that it would lead me to where I am now!”  If we walk in the reality that  we know change, good and bad, will come so that we are not surprised by it

, we may be more able to accept and possibly even walk through even the most difficult change knowing that we can do it! We can adjust! We can find our lives rich and full once again.

I hope that as you experience change that you can look forward, find peace and yes, know it will visit us again.

Enjoying the Adventure,

Dr. Dink

 

Tree Photo by Pixabay, Pexel

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Oh Yes, I am!!!!

Tell me you wouldn’t feel totally empowered by this!

Hubby was checking the brakes on my car and comes in the house saying, “I need your help moving the car.” So, I grab my keys and he says, “You don’t need them.” I left them behind figuring he had the spare already. I THOUGHT that I was going to pull up the car on the ramp, but no, he had something different in mind.

The jack was too tall to fit under the car, and he needed to have the wheel free, so he got a pressure-treated 4×4 board and proceeded to say, “Here, just lift the car up!” I’m strong, especially for a girly-girl, but REALLY HONEY, YOU WANT ME TO LIFT UP A FREAKING CAR???? How high???????

I did it.

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THEN . . . 

I sang Helen Reddy, I am Woman!

I told every man I saw in Home Depot what I did.

I danced in the grocery store.

I’m a badass.

And really, it wasn’t even that hard to do! What makes you feel like a bad-ass singing Helen Reddy songs?

Enjoying the Adventure!

Dr. Dink

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Please visit my other Blog:  Brown Bag Letter

–a blog of stories celebrating “personal history”. You will find antique anonymous photos connected to stories people have shared with me about their grandparents and family folklore.

I encourage you to visit other bloggers at the following sites. You’ll find almost everything imaginable that can be written, in every form, from all over the world!

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Blue Butterfly

I went outside and on the rail of the back porch sat this beautiful butterfly. I feel special anytime I see a butterfly, but this one was SO BLUE! It just sat there, so I approached him slowly, and put my finger before him, much like you would for a parakeet to perch on your finger.

blue and black butterfly on green leaves

Blue was tempted as he moved closer and touched the edge of my finger before he leisurely flew away. My, my, my . . .

I hope that anyone who happens across this blog will be fortunate enough to have such a wonderful surprise!

Enjoying the Adventure!

Dr. Dink

________________________

Please visit my other Blog:  Brown Bag Letter –a blog of stories celebrating “personal history”. You will find antique anonymous photos connected to stories people have shared with me about their grandparents and family folklore.

I encourage you to visit other bloggers at the following sites. You’ll find almost everything imaginable that can be written, in every form, from all over the world!

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Photo by JÉSHOOTS on Pexels.com

Grateful for the Everyday

Wow, yesterday was very quiet. I mean QUIET. I’m just glad it happened after I had perked my coffee. Yes, the electric went out. For 7 hours. This is the longest we’ve dealt with here. No great tragedy, storm or earthquake, just a gentle rain, that hasn’t stopped yet weakened a tree and brought wires down into the creek.

All day I kept thinking about doing “something” but it seems every something that I thought of required electric, or “it was just to dark in that room”, or sitting on the back porch, which I did a lot of yesterday, in June, dressed like it’s freaking winter out!

This seven hour electric dilemma, which when you really think about it, with all the storms and natural events, like wild fires and volcanoes, really messing up people’s lives around the globe . . .was nothing. However, it made me realize how I take advantage of something as simple as flipping on a light-switch and how that action improves my life. So, this morning while I wait for my coffee to perk, I’m grateful. I’m glad the electric went out to remind me that I’m really a spoiled brat. Today I will be grateful for the everyday things.

img_20180525_184523059_hdrDo you ever find yourself in a position like this? You know, when you realize that you take advantage of the things that make your life easier? What are those things?

Enjoying the Adventure,

Dr. Dink

_________________________

Please visit my other Blog:  Brown Bag Letter

I encourage you to visit other bloggers. You’ll find almost everything imaginable that can be written, in every form, from all over the world!

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Post-it Notes to the rescue!

A friend contacted me about this blog yesterday and said she is finding it encouraging. That makes the time and discipline of writing everyday so worth the effort. Thank you! This got me reflecting . . . the five-year anniversary of losing nearly everything is coming up soon for me and I have realized that I might just have “something to give” because I’ve learned through the horrible things of life to get to the other side. Generally, with a positive attitude, although I have confessed in an earlier blog that I can be negative, I can even be a bitch. However, that’s “generally” temporary.

One of the things that has helped me come back to myself when going through rough patches is Post-it notes. I know, sounds elementary doesn’t it?  I made the first four words of this paragraph in bold because this is only ONE thing but I found it so incredibly helpful.  When I discovered the therapeutic use of Post-its I was incredibly grateful. I had thought they were “just for office use” or “a quick shopping list”. Little did I know until learned the practice from Jen Sincero, the writer of “You are a Badass” whom I give credit for saving my life, or at least my sanity during the life-adjustment five years ago.

One of the many things she suggested in this book was to write down sayings, reminders, words and mantras that you will see everywhere. I put Post-its on my bathroom mirror, my microwave, cell phone, laptop –everywhere I could. My poor husband, yes, he puts up with me!  Here are some of my (very personal) Post-it reminders:

  • When I was a little girl I used to laugh so much that I drove my Mom crazy. She said sometimes she wished I would cry. I will become this person again! I will be filled with laughter & hope to laugh so hard that I pee myself!
  • I will be happy, joyful, full of energy, I will smile at others.
  • Be what you is cause if you ain’t what you is, you is what you ain’t.
  • Your walk walks & your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.
  • I will appreciate the little things.
  • I will be the kind of friend that I need.
  • What is the fun in waking up at 85 realizing “you couldn’t find the time” to have fun
  • You can carry a horse over your head!
  • I will make a very strong effort to talk about people that I ADMIRE (even if they are dead)
  • I will look to work with integrity and choose not to be affected by others hypocrisy.
  • I will embrace the beauty:
    • I will take walks & rides
    • I will look for beauty multiple times during the day & say out loud, “Look at that!”

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These, and other sayings were everywhere I was. I would stop and read them. Embrace them. I would have high expectation that I would somehow believe that these simple phrases could change, not the situation, but how I chose to respond to it. Was it easy? Hell No! Were there times that I wanted to throw them all away? Hell YES! Sometimes it’s just natural to wallow in the pain & I’m a natural kind of gal, eh? So, then, I found more sayings, more things that would remind me not only of who I was, but who I wanted to be. Notice most say, “I WILL” because, what I was living at the time was nothing that anyone would want to be!!!!!!

I guess the question is, do you have to go through a miniature HELL for this to work? No. You may simply want to remind yourself to smile, to enjoy life more, to —oh, you fill in the blanks!

If your looking for change in your life, or to embrace positive thoughts and actions in a very negative world, why not try Post-it note therapy? It’s what THIS Doctor ordered!

Enjoying the Adventure! (Even though the adventure has been Hellish at times).

Dr. Dink

________________________________________

Please visit my other Blog:  Brown Bag Letter

I encourage you to visit other bloggers. You’ll find almost everything imaginable that can be written, in every form, from all over the world!

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New Focus!

I am somewhat troubled by the “being offended” theme that is constantly celebrated by the news media, on social media, in the public arena and so on.

It is all a part of the negativity of our age. Auggie Squirrel LloydSeems to me that many people are “seeking offense” and that is easy to do if you are looking for it. Human beings are more than happy to comply. And if encouraged, it is like giving a dog a treat for certain behavior, that behavior will continue.

Recently, I posted a video of my dog in a Facebook group. Evidently, she chased a groundhog into a tree. I thought it fascinating, I had no idea a groundhog could climb! Or that my pup would start ripping the bark off the tree! At the risk of sounding like a country girl, I thought it rather funny. (No blood, Groundhog safe, pretending to be a squirrel).

I’ve never had a post get so much attention so quickly, so far, there are over 180 smiley faces, wows & likes. 5 negative emoji responses and about six people telling me off for allowing this to happen. I have been accused of allowing my dog to kill future little kitty cats! And from half-way around the world, “Americans like to kill things.” Oh, and I’m training my dog to be a bully! Where the hell did that come from?

So, why am I posting this on my “Positive Blog?” To make a point. Simply that, to make a point. A few people were obviously offended by this post. That is OK, they have the right to be offended if they would like. However, what do you think I was talking about this morning concerning the responses? I was concentrating on the negative.

  • Ladies, have you ever noticed you could have a thousand, or eight compliments on your outfit, but if one person makes a negative comment you want to go change your clothes?
  • Did you ever get a comment on a paper that received an A- grade and find yourself obsessed with that comment and grade?  It’s an A for goodness sake!
  • Oh here’s one –Try public speaking! You can shake hands with 237 people who are smiling, saying thank you and ONE comment makes you want to crawl under a chair? Or, am I the only one that hears the negative louder?

What concerns me with the current attitude being celebrated in this era is that it will just continue to grow. I think the only way to change that is by concentrating on other words, feelings and responses.

Here are some words that would be nice to celebrate:

Hero

Sympathy

Ethics

Love

Caring

Grace

Resolute

Positivity

Hero (again)

Bravery

Embrace

Joy

Laughter

In a negative world, we must strive to keep from falling into a dark hole where we find ourselves unable to get out in response to negativity. I have a challenge this week, pick a positive word each day, consider it getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, getting the kids off to school, during the rush traffic, at work . . . you get the idea! One word, one day, one encounter at a time, maybe, just maybe we can embrace a new era of attitude. You are more than welcome to add words to this list!

Enjoying the Adventure!

Dr. Dink

PS: Photo of said dog, dreaming that the squirrel would somehow miss a branch!

 

 

 

Too Early?

Is it premature to say that TODAY IS GOING TO BE AWESOME? I think not . . .

I mean really, a cup of coffee, a banana and a phrase to set the day right. What a great way to start. So, now it’s your turn:

Today is going to be __________________?

Enjoying the Adventure, (secretly looking for tomorrow’s start-up word)

Dr. Dink

 

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