Healing is a Great Word

In a short text frenzy and quite unknowingly my friend gave me “heal” as a word for the day.
Then adds, “HEALING is a great word”.
Yeah, she continued, “Healing happens in relationship”.
Well, back in the day when I was a pastor, before I found my inner mouthy-blogger-try-and-make-the-world-a-more-positive-place-self, I used to say this:

Human beings have great power to heal,

however, we also have great power to destroy.

I’ve experienced both to incredible degrees, have you? On the one hand is the pendulum swinging, let’s say, south. Holy Shit can people be nasty! I’ll talk about that first because this is a positive blog & I want to leave you on a good note! What matters is the degree of relationship, I mean really, if someone you don’t know is, let’s call them bitchy to you, their interaction gives you a moment of shock, a story to tell & knowledge of who you want to avoid or be like, eh? However the closer the relationship is when real destruction can occur. When it comes to relationships with people we work or socialize with, or call friend, or dare I say lover, and they choose to hurt rather than hug, even with words, destruction is not a strong enough word. Sometimes it’s temporary, forgiven and we move on. Sometimes we work like Hell to save (heal) the relationship. And then at other times the only thing to do is walk away. All-in-all, I believe we have the choice to live a life that brings health and healing to others and it is worth every effort to exercise the power to bring healing in whatever level of relationship we are experiencing.

view of people in kitchen

 

So let’s look at the other side of the pendulum, it’s a great place to be. In my 22 years of working closely with people in about every situation life has to offer, when it comes to healing, those who had a positive attitude and strong relationships just did better all-around. This doesn’t mean that they didn’t have major life issues either!
Let’s take something as awful as cancer, for instance. The fear, the pain, the unknown can tear a person apart. However those who are positive and hopeful just seemed to do much better. If they were surrounded by loving people, wow! The difference always astounded me. I think it would be interesting to research. I’m sure that type of research been done already, but I’m willing to wager that those who are surrounded by love heal quicker and may suffer less. For those that are terminal, yes, one can see death as a healing. I know that sounds strange, I guess you have to experience this phenomenon to fully understand.

woman riding hanging swing in forest

Life isn’t all about the full swing of the pendulum, is it? For the most part, we spend our lives somewhere in the middle of that swing. So I guess the question begs to be asked, “How can I live in a sense of strength, dignity, happiness, love, etc. First off, if you are in a bad hurtful relationship, get out. If your boss is an incurable, exhausting ass, start looking for another job! If you have issues with your family members, is there a way to avoid the poison? Know that there are some situations that you are better away from. If you are unsafe, you will not change that individual.

I’m sure that the following list can be expanded and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments, possibly these thoughts will help to bring relational healing into our lives for the benefit of our body, mind and spirit:

  • Seek to be around people who are pleasant to be around. People who are real. People that appreciate you for who you are and don’t try to form you into some fantasy that they have conjured up in their minds of who is worthy of their presence.
  • Talk with people who naturally smile.
  • Seek relationships that are encouraging rather than critical.
  • Seek relationships that are give and take. There is nothing better than giving, but it is important to receive with grace too.
  • Seek to be around people who listen and engage.
  • Seek like-mindedness, but understand that everyone is different, we may agree on a lot of things, but chances are there will be times that we differ. That’s ok. How does that person handle your difference of opinion?
  • Seek to laugh.
  • Seek to be around someone that enjoys your company, but understands you need self-time too.

Ultimately, we can all be e a catalyst for a healthy and healing relationship. Be who you are and know that your attitude and actions towards others can be the difference between a good or great relationship! Look at the above bullets and ask the question, “Am I anything like this?”

I know this is far from an exhaustive list! Please add to it in the comments below!

Enjoying the Adventure,

Dr. Dink

 

You are welcome to visit my other blogs!

Nail in my Pocket

Dink’s Digs

Brown Bag Letter

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Photo by Artem Bali on Pexels.com

Post-it Notes to the rescue!

A friend contacted me about this blog yesterday and said she is finding it encouraging. That makes the time and discipline of writing everyday so worth the effort. Thank you! This got me reflecting . . . the five-year anniversary of losing nearly everything is coming up soon for me and I have realized that I might just have “something to give” because I’ve learned through the horrible things of life to get to the other side. Generally, with a positive attitude, although I have confessed in an earlier blog that I can be negative, I can even be a bitch. However, that’s “generally” temporary.

One of the things that has helped me come back to myself when going through rough patches is Post-it notes. I know, sounds elementary doesn’t it?  I made the first four words of this paragraph in bold because this is only ONE thing but I found it so incredibly helpful.  When I discovered the therapeutic use of Post-its I was incredibly grateful. I had thought they were “just for office use” or “a quick shopping list”. Little did I know until learned the practice from Jen Sincero, the writer of “You are a Badass” whom I give credit for saving my life, or at least my sanity during the life-adjustment five years ago.

One of the many things she suggested in this book was to write down sayings, reminders, words and mantras that you will see everywhere. I put Post-its on my bathroom mirror, my microwave, cell phone, laptop –everywhere I could. My poor husband, yes, he puts up with me!  Here are some of my (very personal) Post-it reminders:

  • When I was a little girl I used to laugh so much that I drove my Mom crazy. She said sometimes she wished I would cry. I will become this person again! I will be filled with laughter & hope to laugh so hard that I pee myself!
  • I will be happy, joyful, full of energy, I will smile at others.
  • Be what you is cause if you ain’t what you is, you is what you ain’t.
  • Your walk walks & your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.
  • I will appreciate the little things.
  • I will be the kind of friend that I need.
  • What is the fun in waking up at 85 realizing “you couldn’t find the time” to have fun
  • You can carry a horse over your head!
  • I will make a very strong effort to talk about people that I ADMIRE (even if they are dead)
  • I will look to work with integrity and choose not to be affected by others hypocrisy.
  • I will embrace the beauty:
    • I will take walks & rides
    • I will look for beauty multiple times during the day & say out loud, “Look at that!”

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These, and other sayings were everywhere I was. I would stop and read them. Embrace them. I would have high expectation that I would somehow believe that these simple phrases could change, not the situation, but how I chose to respond to it. Was it easy? Hell No! Were there times that I wanted to throw them all away? Hell YES! Sometimes it’s just natural to wallow in the pain & I’m a natural kind of gal, eh? So, then, I found more sayings, more things that would remind me not only of who I was, but who I wanted to be. Notice most say, “I WILL” because, what I was living at the time was nothing that anyone would want to be!!!!!!

I guess the question is, do you have to go through a miniature HELL for this to work? No. You may simply want to remind yourself to smile, to enjoy life more, to —oh, you fill in the blanks!

If your looking for change in your life, or to embrace positive thoughts and actions in a very negative world, why not try Post-it note therapy? It’s what THIS Doctor ordered!

Enjoying the Adventure! (Even though the adventure has been Hellish at times).

Dr. Dink

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Please visit my other Blog:  Brown Bag Letter

I encourage you to visit other bloggers. You’ll find almost everything imaginable that can be written, in every form, from all over the world!

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Ahhh, the joys of different time zones

Thinking ONLY about yourself: the world is small and limited.

Thinking about others: the world in infinite.

When life situations occur, whether it be a season of sadness, change and life devastation. Or a quick moment of, “Oh no! What will I do now?”. If our response is, me, me, me. It leads to a place of not seeing anything but overwhelming smallness. However, looking to “the other” leads to a path of hope.

While texting a new friend early this morning, she said, “I’m off to bed!” And here I was with my cup of coffee, waking up. In an instant global world, I have to constantly think of time zones. Family in England, Friends and family East & West. Former students in China and India . . . what time is it for someone else?

Aren’t we in a different time zone, even with the person next to us? We enter each day with different perspectives, different backgrounds, moods, health, etc. Generally, it is very natural to respond to that truth. However, if we are too busy looking at “me”, we miss so much opportunity, even in the closest of relationships!

collaboration-community-cooperation-461049Challenge for the day, do “something” for the other. Even if they don’t realize what you’ve done, you have the benefit of knowing the kindness. It makes your world much larger, brighter, and yes, positive place.  It may be a word, an action —small or large, have some fun! I’d love to hear what you decide to do!

Enjoying the Adventure! 

Dr. Dink

 

This post was inspired by the daily prompt: narcisist

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Please visit my (very new!) other Blog:  Brown Bag Letter

I encourage you to visit other bloggers at the following sites. You’ll find almost everything imaginable that can be written, in every form, from all over the world!

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Daily Prompt

 

Word Power!

 

Words heal & hurt,

Words emote love & hatred,

Words bless & curse,

Words help us with directions or get us lost,

Words vary, depending upon our mood.

There’s a vast forest of words to chose from that may have control over our day, even our existence. In order to have positivity influence our everyday lives those things that come from our lips often reflect exactly where our heart is.

Surely those of us who write get stuck when creativity is lost or blocked. Therefore, along with my trusty thesaurus, one of my new favorite sites has become Urban Dictionary.  It can be quite entertaining to explore the evolution of words. Let’s face it, my Great Grand Father that I wrote about yesterday had no idea that “COOL” would come to have about a million different meanings, for instance, “The breeze feels cool on this Montana morning, reminds me winter is on it’s way.” —-Code for, “Oh Shit! Do we have enough wood split? I don’t want to be out there when it’s 20 below ZERO in February!” This is a perfect description of my husband and I this winter. We just didn’t prepare enough dead trees from the Pennsylvania forest neatly split & stacked in the yard to feed the wood-stove. Winter was colder than usual and longer than Spring this year. We spent a lot of time in the cold to get warm! Regrettable, just regrettable. I digress . . . back to words.

Words are incredibly powerful. We need to choose them wisely. I challenge you, dear reader, find some words that describe who you want to be, where you want to go, use those words as weapons against that which keeps you away from where you are heading. What words will strengthen relationships? What words will build? Have some fun –bring the positive into your life and the lives of others!  Find even one word each day that will bring you to a better place.

Enjoying the Adventure!

Dr. Dink

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Forest