Post-it Notes to the rescue!

A friend contacted me about this blog yesterday and said she is finding it encouraging. That makes the time and discipline of writing everyday so worth the effort. Thank you! This got me reflecting . . . the five-year anniversary of losing nearly everything is coming up soon for me and I have realized that I might just have “something to give” because I’ve learned through the horrible things of life to get to the other side. Generally, with a positive attitude, although I have confessed in an earlier blog that I can be negative, I can even be a bitch. However, that’s “generally” temporary.

One of the things that has helped me come back to myself when going through rough patches is Post-it notes. I know, sounds elementary doesn’t it?  I made the first four words of this paragraph in bold because this is only ONE thing but I found it so incredibly helpful.  When I discovered the therapeutic use of Post-its I was incredibly grateful. I had thought they were “just for office use” or “a quick shopping list”. Little did I know until learned the practice from Jen Sincero, the writer of “You are a Badass” whom I give credit for saving my life, or at least my sanity during the life-adjustment five years ago.

One of the many things she suggested in this book was to write down sayings, reminders, words and mantras that you will see everywhere. I put Post-its on my bathroom mirror, my microwave, cell phone, laptop –everywhere I could. My poor husband, yes, he puts up with me!  Here are some of my (very personal) Post-it reminders:

  • When I was a little girl I used to laugh so much that I drove my Mom crazy. She said sometimes she wished I would cry. I will become this person again! I will be filled with laughter & hope to laugh so hard that I pee myself!
  • I will be happy, joyful, full of energy, I will smile at others.
  • Be what you is cause if you ain’t what you is, you is what you ain’t.
  • Your walk walks & your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.
  • I will appreciate the little things.
  • I will be the kind of friend that I need.
  • What is the fun in waking up at 85 realizing “you couldn’t find the time” to have fun
  • You can carry a horse over your head!
  • I will make a very strong effort to talk about people that I ADMIRE (even if they are dead)
  • I will look to work with integrity and choose not to be affected by others hypocrisy.
  • I will embrace the beauty:
    • I will take walks & rides
    • I will look for beauty multiple times during the day & say out loud, “Look at that!”

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These, and other sayings were everywhere I was. I would stop and read them. Embrace them. I would have high expectation that I would somehow believe that these simple phrases could change, not the situation, but how I chose to respond to it. Was it easy? Hell No! Were there times that I wanted to throw them all away? Hell YES! Sometimes it’s just natural to wallow in the pain & I’m a natural kind of gal, eh? So, then, I found more sayings, more things that would remind me not only of who I was, but who I wanted to be. Notice most say, “I WILL” because, what I was living at the time was nothing that anyone would want to be!!!!!!

I guess the question is, do you have to go through a miniature HELL for this to work? No. You may simply want to remind yourself to smile, to enjoy life more, to —oh, you fill in the blanks!

If your looking for change in your life, or to embrace positive thoughts and actions in a very negative world, why not try Post-it note therapy? It’s what THIS Doctor ordered!

Enjoying the Adventure! (Even though the adventure has been Hellish at times).

Dr. Dink

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Please visit my other Blog:  Brown Bag Letter

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New Focus!

I am somewhat troubled by the “being offended” theme that is constantly celebrated by the news media, on social media, in the public arena and so on.

It is all a part of the negativity of our age. Auggie Squirrel LloydSeems to me that many people are “seeking offense” and that is easy to do if you are looking for it. Human beings are more than happy to comply. And if encouraged, it is like giving a dog a treat for certain behavior, that behavior will continue.

Recently, I posted a video of my dog in a Facebook group. Evidently, she chased a groundhog into a tree. I thought it fascinating, I had no idea a groundhog could climb! Or that my pup would start ripping the bark off the tree! At the risk of sounding like a country girl, I thought it rather funny. (No blood, Groundhog safe, pretending to be a squirrel).

I’ve never had a post get so much attention so quickly, so far, there are over 180 smiley faces, wows & likes. 5 negative emoji responses and about six people telling me off for allowing this to happen. I have been accused of allowing my dog to kill future little kitty cats! And from half-way around the world, “Americans like to kill things.” Oh, and I’m training my dog to be a bully! Where the hell did that come from?

So, why am I posting this on my “Positive Blog?” To make a point. Simply that, to make a point. A few people were obviously offended by this post. That is OK, they have the right to be offended if they would like. However, what do you think I was talking about this morning concerning the responses? I was concentrating on the negative.

  • Ladies, have you ever noticed you could have a thousand, or eight compliments on your outfit, but if one person makes a negative comment you want to go change your clothes?
  • Did you ever get a comment on a paper that received an A- grade and find yourself obsessed with that comment and grade?  It’s an A for goodness sake!
  • Oh here’s one –Try public speaking! You can shake hands with 237 people who are smiling, saying thank you and ONE comment makes you want to crawl under a chair? Or, am I the only one that hears the negative louder?

What concerns me with the current attitude being celebrated in this era is that it will just continue to grow. I think the only way to change that is by concentrating on other words, feelings and responses.

Here are some words that would be nice to celebrate:

Hero

Sympathy

Ethics

Love

Caring

Grace

Resolute

Positivity

Hero (again)

Bravery

Embrace

Joy

Laughter

In a negative world, we must strive to keep from falling into a dark hole where we find ourselves unable to get out in response to negativity. I have a challenge this week, pick a positive word each day, consider it getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, getting the kids off to school, during the rush traffic, at work . . . you get the idea! One word, one day, one encounter at a time, maybe, just maybe we can embrace a new era of attitude. You are more than welcome to add words to this list!

Enjoying the Adventure!

Dr. Dink

PS: Photo of said dog, dreaming that the squirrel would somehow miss a branch!

 

 

 

Ahhh, the joys of different time zones

Thinking ONLY about yourself: the world is small and limited.

Thinking about others: the world in infinite.

When life situations occur, whether it be a season of sadness, change and life devastation. Or a quick moment of, “Oh no! What will I do now?”. If our response is, me, me, me. It leads to a place of not seeing anything but overwhelming smallness. However, looking to “the other” leads to a path of hope.

While texting a new friend early this morning, she said, “I’m off to bed!” And here I was with my cup of coffee, waking up. In an instant global world, I have to constantly think of time zones. Family in England, Friends and family East & West. Former students in China and India . . . what time is it for someone else?

Aren’t we in a different time zone, even with the person next to us? We enter each day with different perspectives, different backgrounds, moods, health, etc. Generally, it is very natural to respond to that truth. However, if we are too busy looking at “me”, we miss so much opportunity, even in the closest of relationships!

collaboration-community-cooperation-461049Challenge for the day, do “something” for the other. Even if they don’t realize what you’ve done, you have the benefit of knowing the kindness. It makes your world much larger, brighter, and yes, positive place.  It may be a word, an action —small or large, have some fun! I’d love to hear what you decide to do!

Enjoying the Adventure! 

Dr. Dink

 

This post was inspired by the daily prompt: narcisist

Photo: Pexel.com

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Daily Prompt

 

Greater than Source

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My Dear Friends,

As a shadow lengthens in the sun,

attitudes infect those around you.

hang out with people

who smile and laugh A LOT!

Enjoying the Adventure, (A wee bit taller today)

Dr. Dink

Daily Prompt

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Who Knew?

I remember a third grade assignment: “Ask your parents about your ancestry.” Where did you come from? My teacher talked about race, countries and such. My Dad’s answer has always stuck with me, “Your a Heinz 57 –You’re grandparents down the line are from all over the world! Dink, you’re an American!” Later, my Mom’s genealogical studies and DNA test confirmed that to be true.

Ancestor CollageI descend from a line of worldly, quirky, brave, and normal folks –some are still living through their stories. Honestly, I could care less if my ancestors were Italian and Hungarian, English, French and more. My P-pop claimed we were part of the Cherokee Indian tribe too. Oh! The list goes on. I’m proud to have a mixed pedigree, I’m proud to be a mutt. Yes, my roots are colorful. I would probably be sat in the back if invited to he royal wedding this weekend, eh?

I’m more interested ancestral stories. I come from a line of homesteaders, settlers, farmers, builders, home-makers, hypochondriacs, bartenders, bootleggers, soldiers and a “Lady of the Night”. I’m so happy I know their stories. Stories mean more to me than bloodline.

This makes me think . . . what will our Great-Great-Grand-babies know about us? What stories will form their image of who they are, where they came from? What does that make us today? I know, it is a heavy, wonderful, awesome responsibility! In an earlier blog,  Something to Live By, I summarized life as, who knew you loved them? I don’t know about you, but to me, that is the pedigree I want to pass on!

Enjoying the Adventure (Especially the love part),

Dr. Dink

Daily Prompt

Word Power!

 

Words heal & hurt,

Words emote love & hatred,

Words bless & curse,

Words help us with directions or get us lost,

Words vary, depending upon our mood.

There’s a vast forest of words to chose from that may have control over our day, even our existence. In order to have positivity influence our everyday lives those things that come from our lips often reflect exactly where our heart is.

Surely those of us who write get stuck when creativity is lost or blocked. Therefore, along with my trusty thesaurus, one of my new favorite sites has become Urban Dictionary.  It can be quite entertaining to explore the evolution of words. Let’s face it, my Great Grand Father that I wrote about yesterday had no idea that “COOL” would come to have about a million different meanings, for instance, “The breeze feels cool on this Montana morning, reminds me winter is on it’s way.” —-Code for, “Oh Shit! Do we have enough wood split? I don’t want to be out there when it’s 20 below ZERO in February!” This is a perfect description of my husband and I this winter. We just didn’t prepare enough dead trees from the Pennsylvania forest neatly split & stacked in the yard to feed the wood-stove. Winter was colder than usual and longer than Spring this year. We spent a lot of time in the cold to get warm! Regrettable, just regrettable. I digress . . . back to words.

Words are incredibly powerful. We need to choose them wisely. I challenge you, dear reader, find some words that describe who you want to be, where you want to go, use those words as weapons against that which keeps you away from where you are heading. What words will strengthen relationships? What words will build? Have some fun –bring the positive into your life and the lives of others!  Find even one word each day that will bring you to a better place.

Enjoying the Adventure!

Dr. Dink

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Forest

Project Positive 101

I’ve noticed that there is an awful lot of complaining on social media about all the negative posts many people are making. They can be upsetting or just plain annoying. There are some things that you can do to change what you see! Social media is controlled by algorithms. Please don’t ask me to explain what that is —-consider it the brain of your favorite site!!! I’m just proud of myself that I know the word.

The algorithms of various sites work together too, for instance, have you ever looked up something on Amazon & before you know it, you see that product showing up in ads on Facebook?  So, here are some ideas you can do to help the algorithm understand you better –I’ll use examples and vocabulary from Facebook, adjust accordingly for other social media:

Do a slew of searches for things that you DO want to see.

  • Search for pages of topics that your interested in & “like” a few
  • Join groups of interests you have. (Can you guess that I’m in German Shepherd groups? Yes, the beauty in the photo above is Auggie, I just wish she would stay off social media, I mean, really —go outside & fetch a stick, or race a Harley or something!
  • Do searches on sites like Amazon & Google—-I guarantee you will start seeing similar ads & posts.

“Like” pages and posts with positive influences, or pictures of bunnies and puppy dogs, or whatever it is that makes you happy.

Unfollow Friends that constantly post Toxic Shit

  • Sorry, but it’s true, there are people that you truly do like, but they have gotten into a negative roll of BS. I know . . you look at the things they post & are like, “WHAT?”  You really don’t have to volunteer your time, your eyes & psyche to the negativity!!!!!!
  • If you “unfollow” they don’t get some notification in red that says, “Guess who doesn’t want to see you on their wall anymore!”  Nope, you are the only one that knows. You can still search their name every now and then to see how their dog is . .
  • You can also unfriend. (Oh, ouch, but are they really a friend?)

LIKE & LIKE & LIKE & HEARTS & SMILEY FACES & WOWS!

  • I think this is the most effective. Just let that old algorithm know what you’re interested in.  Have some fun in the next few days—- look through and respond with positive signs some posts that you enjoy & even as fast as tomorrow—- you will see more like it!

I hope this helps in your quest for a more positive world. Let me know how this works for you!

Enjoying the Adventure!

Dr. Dink

 

 

A Good Word

This is what I asked people as they passed by: What’s a good word for today? Here they are in the order I heard them, they speak for themselves!

Starbucks

I don’t know

Hope

Jesus

Beautiful

Sunshine

Joy

Education

Kindness

This question resulted in people smiling back at me and four great conversations about:

  • good coffee,
  • faith
  • what a local elementary school is doing to promote a healthy-attitude-environment for kids.
  • the need for people to be more positive in such a negative world.

So, it’s your turn . . . What’s a good word for the day?

Enjoying the Adventure!

Dr. Dink

 

Chance Encounter

OK, so the first thing I said to one of the ladies was, “I love you, you are my new best friend!!!!” I was heading to my favorite area to walk and was pulled by this magnetism from a mile out of the way. I mean, really, don’t yard sales pull you in too? When I arrived, she started googling over my grandson. She was instantly in love with his two year old self, then I overhear her saying, “Are you taking a nice walk with your Mommy?” (Meaning me, lol). She said it about 5 times when I said, “Mommy is at home—- I’m Grandma.”  Her response?  “You’re so pretty!” Now, let me ask, “don’t you want her to be your best friend too?”

I spent a while there looking around, mostly because I was enjoying their company so much. I did buy a couple of tank tops, but most of the clothes were out of my league. The casual dresses were so pretty & fashionable that I think if I bought one I would be compelled to join the local country club so I’d have a place to wear them! Not my down-to-earth style.
IMG_20180428_073828347_HDRAs I was getting ready to leave, I said to them both, “You two women are so wonderfully positive! You have made me smile the entire time I’ve been here. I’d like to know what drives your joy —can you tell me a story about your life? Your day? Was it the 8 cups of coffee you drank this morning?”

One Sister looked at the other and said, “Tell her.”

She began by saying, “I’ve had a lot of tragedy in my life.” Personally, I thought, “Did you not understand the question?” Her story was fascinating. Many years ago, she had been involved in a vehicle accident and was left for dead. Miraculously, physicians were able to revive her and after years of recovery, she had her life back. She embraced life with the attitude, “I guess God wasn’t done with me yet.”  As she continued, I heard of an illness that nearly resulted in, “this doctor about killing me again!”  They came from a family of 14 children, two had died, one of which was murdered.

I interrupted her, asking, “Many people would be bitter, sad, or fearful, how do keep that beautiful smile?”  Her answer was something like this: she has always been grateful. It seems that having near death experiences have brought her to a place of embracing life to the fullest each day. Who has time to waste on negativity?

Then she giggled and told me about her zip-lining experience a couple of years ago. I shook my head and snickered as I remember the thrill of zip-lining myself.  Imagine my shock when she said, “It broke!”  As it turns out, something was wrong with the line and when she jumped off the platform the apparatus broke. She ended up hanging by the line for a long time and then her hands could no longer hold. . . yes, she broke her back in the fall. (Darn, Karen, this is supposed to be an uplifting blog!)  Amazingly, she had a smile on her face the entire time she was talking. I walked away grateful for life, grateful for health, grateful that my zip-line trips have held tight & grateful that someone else was crazy over my grandbaby!

I believe that when you set out to embrace the positive that it will draw you in like a magnet. These beautiful sisters got up this morning, not knowing how much they would touch someone else’s life, but by chance, I am wonderfully changed by their stories.

Enjoying the Adventure!

Dr. Dink

Dancing at DSW

It happens sometimes . . . This time it probably helped that I was holding my grandson in my arms. All those neat rows of shoes in the aisles of DSW were completely tempting to a curious two year old! The lively music playing in the background was by someone of which I’m entirely too old to know their name, but young enough to enjoy their music. What’s a grandma to do? It started out with a toe tap & then it just happened, before I knew it, we were dancing with abandon in the shoe store. I have to admit though, I’ve been known to shuffle down the aisles of Home Depot too, I mean, really, they play oldies from the 70’s in our local store. Don’t you dance in the cement aisle too?

Generally, I’m respectful of the fact that others might think I’m a bit weird dancing at DSW or doing an Insanity Workout on the beach but, hey –if you feel like dancing, 14064189_1264532890224829_4387446806825943094_nsinging or doing push-ups. . . Go for it! I know, it is easy to say that people might laugh or think you’re nuts, but at the end of the day, who cares? When will you see them again? Your fun might just bring a smile to someone!

Speaking of smiles, I know we all aren’t cut out for unexpected public dancing, singing, working out, truth is, neither am I, but how about a smile? A big full-of-heart smile. Have you ever encountered someone that had a genuine smile on their face? They might be a friend, family, or perfect stranger while shopping. But tell me you can’t help but smile back. They are contagious!

Enjoying the Adventure!  Dr. Dinkimg_20180502_103051234280165093.jpg