The Terminal

The situation of my own eyes, caused me to look around the terminal. Faces amaze me. Maybe it is because I worked closely with people for so many years, I’ve become relatively good at “reading” faces. Oh sure, there is some conjecture and you don’t know all the details . . . but emotions can be a billboard.

I flew home in a bit of an emotional whirl. I was so sad leaving my heart, my Grandson. By the next time I see him, he will have so many more skills, and will continue to get taller and his vocabulary will become clearer. He will more than likely get over that “being two” stage too, (I think he’s almost there) . . . I’m so grateful for video chat and instantaneous photos. But it’s not the same as being there. Of course, I had a tear or two at the airport. I was misty eyed.

I also missed my husband and couldn’t wait to get home to see him. Love is a good thing! Then I received the text with the ultrasound photo. Oh my! There is really a baby in there! Sadness, joy, excitement, love, longing, expectation . . . All at once? Oh come on, you would be misty eyed too!

My plane was full. Evidently not one seat was empty if I heard the stewardess right, or is it steward-person now? That explains why the airport was so busy! I overheard a woman in the terminal say to her friend, “Yes, I’m heading home for a bit, at least we got Greg over from the brink of death.” They hugged. Not many heard her. Most people are so engaged with their cell phones in their faces and are physically there, but robotish, clueless as to what’s going on around them. But look, walking past, a young woman eyes deep-set, moving slowly . . .

  • she is in another world. Something has happened. She is shattered. Was it her boyfriend? Did he leave her? Or, should she leave him? Was she escaping? Did someone die? Did her brother not make it over the brink as Greg did? This was definitely a “love look.” Please, someone, give her a hug!
  • he is polite, yet guarded. He is “manning-up” but wants to cry like a little girl. Can anyone see me? Eyes averted.
  • A family . . . Mom & Dad look stressed, but the kids have sparkles in their eyes. You might think they were in line at Disney World, but this plane is heading to Pittsburgh, I wonder if it’s a connector or are they visiting someone special there?

On and on the possible stories go. I think sometimes it nice to just put the cell down, look around you. See people. Be Connected. Have a random conversation. When I do this, my world becomes larger. I think a part of this era of negativity is that (not only teenagers) are so busy looking at that small piece of electronics in our hands. Granted, I will look too, and frequently when my kids text, send videos or post cool things, but you know as well as I do that we can become quite mindless staring at our phones.

Here is a challenge in the next few days, put down the phone —look around you!

Enjoying the Adventure (Let’s all go on one!)

Dr. Dinkimg_20180522_0930389811133470407.jpg

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Please visit my other Blog:  Brown Bag Letter

I encourage you to visit other bloggers. You’ll find almost everything imaginable that can be written, in every form, from all over the world!

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Post-it Notes to the rescue!

A friend contacted me about this blog yesterday and said she is finding it encouraging. That makes the time and discipline of writing everyday so worth the effort. Thank you! This got me reflecting . . . the five-year anniversary of losing nearly everything is coming up soon for me and I have realized that I might just have “something to give” because I’ve learned through the horrible things of life to get to the other side. Generally, with a positive attitude, although I have confessed in an earlier blog that I can be negative, I can even be a bitch. However, that’s “generally” temporary.

One of the things that has helped me come back to myself when going through rough patches is Post-it notes. I know, sounds elementary doesn’t it?  I made the first four words of this paragraph in bold because this is only ONE thing but I found it so incredibly helpful.  When I discovered the therapeutic use of Post-its I was incredibly grateful. I had thought they were “just for office use” or “a quick shopping list”. Little did I know until learned the practice from Jen Sincero, the writer of “You are a Badass” whom I give credit for saving my life, or at least my sanity during the life-adjustment five years ago.

One of the many things she suggested in this book was to write down sayings, reminders, words and mantras that you will see everywhere. I put Post-its on my bathroom mirror, my microwave, cell phone, laptop –everywhere I could. My poor husband, yes, he puts up with me!  Here are some of my (very personal) Post-it reminders:

  • When I was a little girl I used to laugh so much that I drove my Mom crazy. She said sometimes she wished I would cry. I will become this person again! I will be filled with laughter & hope to laugh so hard that I pee myself!
  • I will be happy, joyful, full of energy, I will smile at others.
  • Be what you is cause if you ain’t what you is, you is what you ain’t.
  • Your walk walks & your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.
  • I will appreciate the little things.
  • I will be the kind of friend that I need.
  • What is the fun in waking up at 85 realizing “you couldn’t find the time” to have fun
  • You can carry a horse over your head!
  • I will make a very strong effort to talk about people that I ADMIRE (even if they are dead)
  • I will look to work with integrity and choose not to be affected by others hypocrisy.
  • I will embrace the beauty:
    • I will take walks & rides
    • I will look for beauty multiple times during the day & say out loud, “Look at that!”

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These, and other sayings were everywhere I was. I would stop and read them. Embrace them. I would have high expectation that I would somehow believe that these simple phrases could change, not the situation, but how I chose to respond to it. Was it easy? Hell No! Were there times that I wanted to throw them all away? Hell YES! Sometimes it’s just natural to wallow in the pain & I’m a natural kind of gal, eh? So, then, I found more sayings, more things that would remind me not only of who I was, but who I wanted to be. Notice most say, “I WILL” because, what I was living at the time was nothing that anyone would want to be!!!!!!

I guess the question is, do you have to go through a miniature HELL for this to work? No. You may simply want to remind yourself to smile, to enjoy life more, to —oh, you fill in the blanks!

If your looking for change in your life, or to embrace positive thoughts and actions in a very negative world, why not try Post-it note therapy? It’s what THIS Doctor ordered!

Enjoying the Adventure! (Even though the adventure has been Hellish at times).

Dr. Dink

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Please visit my other Blog:  Brown Bag Letter

I encourage you to visit other bloggers. You’ll find almost everything imaginable that can be written, in every form, from all over the world!

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Locked!

screenshot_20180516-1944001791624151.pngDo you see the little spots on the side of the bridge?  . . . we shall get to that!

I’m a country girl, so a pedestrian bridge over an 8 lane highway with cars moving at 70 mph was a curiosity. I didn’t expect to see the sunset as I stood there above the noise of the cars, it was beautiful and I stood for a while watching, then. as I got to the center of the bridge, I looked and there was a Master lock on the wire fencing, I thought it was strange, and then looked further. One led to the other and more and more. What is this, I mused. Then I looked closely at the locks, there were names on them.

 

img_20180517_075908448_hdr1144094110.jpgIn Love For Ever

I’m Locked with you

Prom?

Love & hearts

MRO + IMO

 

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A local couple taking a walk with their two children came on the bridge and confirmed that couples would come up on the bridge to confess their love and commitment to each other. (Goosebumps!) At first I thought, it would mostly be high school students. But then I saw an antique lock. For many years I was with people during the tragic times of their lives. I would stay at the hospital after the accident, or as a family sat at vigil as their loved one pass. So many times during these moments, I would ask the spouse, “You meant it didn’t you?” Their answer was always, “Yes.” So, I would repeat the traditional words that most folks said on their wedding day,

“To have and to hold,

from this day forward,

for better, for worse

for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish,

until death do us part . . .”

I am willing to wager that most of those locks were placed by young teens with visions of love in their hearts. However, I believe that their were also special anniversaries, or the realization the impact of a diagnosis’, and re-commitments of love and devotion too. I came off that bridge with the biggest smile on my face (it was ridiculous) and a small pool of tears in my eyes. All because of the beauty of locks.

Have you reminded, or done something special for the one you love to remind them how much that love means to you lately?

Enjoying the Adventure!img_20180517_075547943_hdr1366755143.jpg

Dr. Dink

 

 

 

New Focus!

I am somewhat troubled by the “being offended” theme that is constantly celebrated by the news media, on social media, in the public arena and so on.

It is all a part of the negativity of our age. Auggie Squirrel LloydSeems to me that many people are “seeking offense” and that is easy to do if you are looking for it. Human beings are more than happy to comply. And if encouraged, it is like giving a dog a treat for certain behavior, that behavior will continue.

Recently, I posted a video of my dog in a Facebook group. Evidently, she chased a groundhog into a tree. I thought it fascinating, I had no idea a groundhog could climb! Or that my pup would start ripping the bark off the tree! At the risk of sounding like a country girl, I thought it rather funny. (No blood, Groundhog safe, pretending to be a squirrel).

I’ve never had a post get so much attention so quickly, so far, there are over 180 smiley faces, wows & likes. 5 negative emoji responses and about six people telling me off for allowing this to happen. I have been accused of allowing my dog to kill future little kitty cats! And from half-way around the world, “Americans like to kill things.” Oh, and I’m training my dog to be a bully! Where the hell did that come from?

So, why am I posting this on my “Positive Blog?” To make a point. Simply that, to make a point. A few people were obviously offended by this post. That is OK, they have the right to be offended if they would like. However, what do you think I was talking about this morning concerning the responses? I was concentrating on the negative.

  • Ladies, have you ever noticed you could have a thousand, or eight compliments on your outfit, but if one person makes a negative comment you want to go change your clothes?
  • Did you ever get a comment on a paper that received an A- grade and find yourself obsessed with that comment and grade?  It’s an A for goodness sake!
  • Oh here’s one –Try public speaking! You can shake hands with 237 people who are smiling, saying thank you and ONE comment makes you want to crawl under a chair? Or, am I the only one that hears the negative louder?

What concerns me with the current attitude being celebrated in this era is that it will just continue to grow. I think the only way to change that is by concentrating on other words, feelings and responses.

Here are some words that would be nice to celebrate:

Hero

Sympathy

Ethics

Love

Caring

Grace

Resolute

Positivity

Hero (again)

Bravery

Embrace

Joy

Laughter

In a negative world, we must strive to keep from falling into a dark hole where we find ourselves unable to get out in response to negativity. I have a challenge this week, pick a positive word each day, consider it getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, getting the kids off to school, during the rush traffic, at work . . . you get the idea! One word, one day, one encounter at a time, maybe, just maybe we can embrace a new era of attitude. You are more than welcome to add words to this list!

Enjoying the Adventure!

Dr. Dink

PS: Photo of said dog, dreaming that the squirrel would somehow miss a branch!

 

 

 

Grateful

Today is Memorial Day here in America. There will be remembrances in nearly every community. For the most part, those ceremonies have been the same each and every year since “anyone can remember”. I’ve been to many, participated in a few. They make me grateful.

The evolution of this weekend has become a celebration of picnics, the beach season officially opening, summer is here so gas prices rise and traffic jams along the coast & to mountainous resort areas increase for most. Yet, it is good to remember the real reason behind this holiday which has become a good excuse to buy a six pack, or another bottle or two of red.

Memorial day is about Death and Gratefulness. Death has been such a huge part of my life as I was a pastor for 22 years. Death was a reality I was always prepared to face, yet not quite ready to face.  There was an expectation whether that death had just occurred, or was imminent in the next few months that I would be intimately involved in the process. When you are intimately involved with death on a regular basis, it can make you or break you. Think about it, there really isn’t a middle ground, is there? Well, I guess, middle ground would be numb.

Dealing with death has made me grateful. I know it hits others in different ways, but for me, grateful. I live with the understanding that each and every day is a gift. A gift to be opened, enjoyed and used. A gift to show off to your friends, and decide not to share with those . . . . well, you don’t want to share your daily gift with!

Yesterday, I spend some time with a friend at the grave of her father, she talked of his untimely death, “too young”, she said, “he was two years younger than I am now”. He, like my father, served in the Korean War. It was a precious time we had, talking of our Dad’s, being thankful that they served, but didn’t die in the war. Private, personal ceremony. A time to remember, it was beautiful. I walked away grateful.

When I think of the men and women who gave the ultimate sacrifice in the military, and of their families who have had such great loss, of someone they loved gone, usually, “incredibly too young”, I am grateful. I’m grateful that because of them, I have the right to express my opinions on this blog, on social media, at the coffee house or on a public square. I’m grateful that I could choose to walk away from my career of 22 years because I couldn’t accept the ethics any longer. I’m grateful that I could start up and close a business or two. I’m grateful that I can talk on the phone, or text my family. I’m grateful that I can have a dog and a fish.

I started this blog because of the negativity pandemic that is going on in our society right now. I hate it, truly. But I’m grateful that we have the right to be miserable if we choose to be. Although I’m not a march-in-the-streets-protester, I can protest the life-sucking-negativity, in my own way because I have the freedom to do so.

So, my ceremony for today is my new discipline of early morning writing. I’m grateful I have that choice. I’m grateful for the many lives lost that give me the right to be who I am and for you to be who you are. I’m grateful for many years of being intimate with death so that I can celebrate life . . . daily.

What are you grateful for today?

Enjoying the Adventure, (And greatful to have the freedom to do so!)

Dr. Dink

____________________

 

Please visit my other Blog:  Brown Bag Letter

I encourage you to visit other bloggers at the following sites. You’ll find almost everything imaginable that can be written, in every form, from all over the world!

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Daily Post

New Eyes

I’ve been away for six weeks. When I left Pennsylvania there was snow on the ground and we arrived in the desert to sunshine and 93 degrees. Yesterday, I was surrounded by blue skies and was floating in a pool. I came from the dry air of the desert with warnings of wild fires, back to the Northeast and buckets of rain, buckets!. Everything feels damp, everything. For the past six weeks I’ve been experiencing the world from the eyes of a two-year-old in his toddler proof home. Today, I’m home, surrounded familiar antiques. The opposites are too many to list.

During these six weeks, I’ve been trained by a little human. He has taught me the wowness of the mundane. The excitement of what has been there and taken advantage of as “the norm”. He has shown me to see with new eyes again.

As I sit here this morning surrounded by my familiar,  I realize that there can be no assumptions —everything is not the same, although nothing much has changed. Because I’ve been retrained by this little guy, I do see things differently and with a renewed sense of appreciation.

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I was greeted by Smiley, my African statue and our collection of beautiful antique mirrors begging to give reflection, the best cow oil painting ever and the weather-vane in the window. Memories, comfort, old things . . . seen with new eyes, retrained to see by an inquisitive boy.

 

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Look around you, what do you see? Look again, what is so familiar that you don’t see or appreciate it as it deserves? It may be a trinket, a wedding band, something from your childhood, or the person next to you . . .

Enjoying the Adventure,

Dr. Dink

________________

 

Please visit my other Blog:  Brown Bag Letter

I encourage you to visit other bloggers at the following sites. You’ll find almost everything imaginable that can be written, in every form, from all over the world!

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Ahhh, the joys of different time zones

Thinking ONLY about yourself: the world is small and limited.

Thinking about others: the world in infinite.

When life situations occur, whether it be a season of sadness, change and life devastation. Or a quick moment of, “Oh no! What will I do now?”. If our response is, me, me, me. It leads to a place of not seeing anything but overwhelming smallness. However, looking to “the other” leads to a path of hope.

While texting a new friend early this morning, she said, “I’m off to bed!” And here I was with my cup of coffee, waking up. In an instant global world, I have to constantly think of time zones. Family in England, Friends and family East & West. Former students in China and India . . . what time is it for someone else?

Aren’t we in a different time zone, even with the person next to us? We enter each day with different perspectives, different backgrounds, moods, health, etc. Generally, it is very natural to respond to that truth. However, if we are too busy looking at “me”, we miss so much opportunity, even in the closest of relationships!

collaboration-community-cooperation-461049Challenge for the day, do “something” for the other. Even if they don’t realize what you’ve done, you have the benefit of knowing the kindness. It makes your world much larger, brighter, and yes, positive place.  It may be a word, an action —small or large, have some fun! I’d love to hear what you decide to do!

Enjoying the Adventure! 

Dr. Dink

 

This post was inspired by the daily prompt: narcisist

Photo: Pexel.com

Please visit my (very new!) other Blog:  Brown Bag Letter

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